25 Years and Counting…Marriage is a Blessing

He left the house in pursuit of a quick take-out meal. He was as happy and carefree as a child on a slide. When he brought my fish meal in and he was eager for me to eat; he asked several times about when I was going to eat it. I didn’t understand the urgency and I really wasn’t eager to eat. When I finally opened it, I saw it…but didn’t comprehend it. There was a diamond ring standing in a hush puppy! My confusion was made clear as my love asked me to marry him. It wasn’t the most romantic of proposals, but it was heartfelt and true. We loved each other and I said “yes”! Nearly, 24-years have passed since I walked down the aisle in my white, puffy-sleeved, wedding gown. As I consider that day, I realize that I had no idea what our lives would hold. Like many brides, I had dreams of the future. I hoped for marital bliss, a home, and the pitter-patter of little feet. I repeated my vows of “for better or for worse” but looked forward to “better”. While I didn’t know what life would hold, I knew that I wanted to spend my life with my love.

For us, life has been a roller coaster. We’ve had our share or ups and downs and lots of in-betweens. We’ve experienced family illness as well as loss, multiple miscarriages, moves, job changes, children, and more. Through it all, God has blessed us and our marriage.

God created man and woman to live in unity. “…but for the man no helper was found as his complement…Then the Lord God made the rib He had taken from the man into a woman and brought her to the man. And the man said: This one, at last, is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; this one will be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken from man. This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh” (Gen. 2:20b-24). Therefore, a man and woman make a covenant to honor and love one another. They make a lifetime commitment of unity. God’s plan is amazing and a blessing.

Marriage is a blessing and we make marriage a blessing. God gives us the gift and we accept and care for the gift. I care for the gift by honoring my marriage and my spouse. I choose to be a blessing in my marriage. God looks favorably on marriages that reflect Him and His love. We can all grow and learn how to embrace the blessing of marriage.

I recently asked my family and friends a couple of questions about marriage and will use some of their responses in this post and in the next. As we recognize the blessings of marriage, here are three areas to consider:

1. Love God. Marriage is a blessing when the couple loves God. Uncle Joe Hillerich said, “Keep God first, as you both grow closer to God you grow closer to each other!!!” As each of you focus on loving and knowing God, He will help you to love one another better and more. We love God by turning toward Him, living for Him, and communicating with Him through prayer, praise, and worship. When a couple is loving and honoring God, He delights in and blesses their marriage. As such, when both people are living to please God, they are focusing on the same things…they’re headed in the same direction. The two imperfect people are unified with one another and God. The bond with God strengthens the bond with one another.
2. Love your spouse well and be a great friend. The blessings of marriage are life-long love, commitment, and friendship. Liz Beattie said, “He’s my soulmate and best friend, they say opposites attract and that’s true. He’s calm and cool compared to my feisty nature which has been calmed over the years.” I agree with Liz! My love regularly reminds me that I’m his best friend and we have opposite personalities (he’s the outgoing and excited one😉). Karen O’Reilly also mentioned friendship; she said, “I have been married to my best friend for 22 years. I think companionship is the best thing about marriage.” Often, friendship takes work and sacrifice as they are generous and look out for one another. The better the friendship, the stronger the bond of marriage. Crystal Lauriout (married 9 years) said, “Having someone love me unconditionally through the good times and bad. (It’s like having a built in personal cheerleader).” There are many storms in life. But marriage is an anchor in the storm. The love and companionship of your spouse allows you to remain steady through various trials. Evident and unconditional, love and acceptance are amazing blessings of marriage. Alexis Bratcher (married 2 years) said, “What I love most is being accepted for who I truly am, morning breath and all.” Marriage offers safety and comfort as well as vulnerability and sharing. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word” (Eph. 5:25-26).
3. We show others our love by serving in and out of the church. My love and I have served in youth groups together; we’ve served at church, youth camps/retreats and have even started new ministries. We’ve also taught classes together, participated in food drives, fund-raising, etc. More recently, my love has even helped me and served the women’s team. He’s prepared food for team meetings and worked to prepare the church for the women’s events. We serve stronger and better together than we would individually. As a team, we come up with ideas and dreams, while keeping one another grounded. God blesses our marriage as we serve and help others and our marriage is a blessing to the church and other ministries.

Marriage is a blessing as we pray for and with our spouse. Through praise we remind ourselves and God of how much we love and need Him. I intervene on behalf of my love through prayer for him. I may not be able to impact his work or day specifically, but through the power of prayer, I ask the One who is greater to intervene on behalf of my husband. And, we bless others when we pray for and over them…we pray over their illnesses, jobs, losses, and other life circumstances. Praying in unity with your spouse is powerful.

I want to take a moment to say that while marriage is given by God and is a blessing, I realize that some aren’t married. Marriage isn’t His plan for everyone and there are many reasons why a person may not be married. Some should remain single (1 Cor. 7:8) and others are waiting for their mate. If you’re unmarried at this time and would like to be, I encourage you to turn your desire over to God and pray for wisdom and for God to prepare you as you wait.

My love and I celebrated our 25^th wedding anniversary in June! We spent a few days on Sanibel Island, riding bikes, trying Boba tea and new restaurants, watching sunsets, laughing and rekindling our love. As I reflect over the years of struggle, joy, fun, and grace, I can’t help but recognize that our marriage is a blessing. Life isn’t always easy…we’ve had our share of heartache. Yet, life is better because we’re together. We’re working hard and raising our family to know and love the Lord. While my husband and I aren’t perfect, we’ve chosen to do life together and I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else! (Honestly, he spoils me;).

I would love to read about your marital blessings! Leave me a comment sharing how you and your spouse love and/or serve the Lord together.